Mortal Kombat vs Twilight
by Spawnzilla014
Summary: The title says it all; all for laughs of course! Read on to see what happens when Scorpion and Subzero face off against Edward and Jacob...it's guarenteed to give you a laugh or two; especially if you hate Twilight! This is a request for a friend of mine; Wherever Girl! Hope you enjoy!


***Hey, everyone! I've got another story I'd like to share with you again. This time, I've taken up a request from a new friend of mine. Her name is Wherever Girl, and I dedicate this story to her and all the other Anti-Twilight crowds out there. So if you're offended by extreme Twilight bashings or violent death scenes, leave now. You were warned! Wherever Girl, this one is for you! Hope you get a good laugh out of this! Enjoy!***

Scorpion and Subzero were glaring angrily at each other as they stood apart from each other in the Kombat Arena. Shang Tsung watched in evil pleasure while Sonya, Jax, Johnny Cage, Raiden, Liu Kang, and Kano were anxiously waiting their turn. Scorpion was the first to strike; he fired his Harpoon Impaler at Subzero and dragged him over before beating him up with his fists. Subzero began to fight back by freezing Scorpion with his Iceball Throw and kicked him away multiple times. Scorpion growled furiously before he quickly vanished and then reappeared by kicking him Subzero in the opposite direction. "GET OVER HERE!" Scorpion cried as he fired his Harpoon Impaler again. Subzero vanished away with his Icy Teleport and stood up behind Scorpion before punching him away. Subzero fired a streak of ice at the ground and made Scorpion cry out as he began slipping, and then roundhouse kicked him away. Scorpion jumped back up summoned a burst of flames to scorch Subzero, making him scream in agony before kicking him away again. Scorpion and Subzero furiously punched each other for several minutes, and none could best the other. Finally, Scorpion overpowered Subzero with his X-Ray attack. He quickly disappeared before punching Subzero forcefully in the face and forcing him on his back. Scorpion then stomped on Subzero's chest, crushing his ribs and bruising his lungs. "Good! Very, very good! FINISH HIM!" Shang Tsung cried.

Scorpion smiled evilly as he prepared to finish his foe, when suddenly a huge vortex appeared above the sky. Everyone looked up and gasped in amazement of what was happening. "What the hell is that?" Kano cried. "It's a vortex!" Sonya gasped. "Are we being saved?" Johnny Cage wondered. Suddenly, several floating objects came flying towards them and then hovered above them before they morphed into human forms. They were none other than the leading characters of Twilight! There was Bella, Edward, and Jacob; they were all arguing loudly and obnoxiously. "I LOVE HER MORE!" Edward shouted. "NO, I LOVE HER MORE!" Jacob screamed. "STOP FIGHTING OVER ME!" Bella screeched. Everyone looked at them with mixed emotions of curiosity, annoyance, and that feeling that you just wanted to rip their heads off for screaming so much. Finally after what seemed like hours; Scorpion couldn't take it anymore. "OK! That's it; I've had enough! What the hell's going on here anyway?" Scorpion shouted furiously. Edward, Jacob, and Bella looked towards him in confusion. "Uhh...we were just seeing who she loves more!" Edward replied stupidly. "By what? Screaming at each other; please! If you want to know who's truly worthy of keeping her...then you fight each other for her!" Scorpion snapped. "Fighting is wrong!" Bella said stupidly. "No it isn't! This is Mortal Kombat, bitch! If you can't handle it, then get the hell outta here!" Scorpion sneered. "Hey! Nobody talks to my girl that way!" Edward cried. "Nuh-uh! She's my girl, so I get to defend her!" Jacob whined. "Do not!" Edward snapped. "Do too!" Jacob snapped back.

They both argued for another 20 minutes, until Subzero finally lost patience. "What the hell is wrong with you people? God, you're so annoying!" Subzero shouted. "Wow...this is just sad!" Jax mumbled. "If I was her, I wouldn't want to date any of them!" Sonya agreed. "Who the hell would want to date her, anyways?" Johnny snorted. 'I have an idea: let's see if they got what it takes to fight each other...Mortal Kombat style!" Raiden suggested. "Excellent! For once I couldn't agree with you more...and I'm really getting sick and tired of watching them bicker like two year olds!" Shang Tsung said. Soon enough; Edward and Jacob were forced to fight against Scorpion and Subzero in an epic match...even though it sucked ass to even watch! "Round one...FIGHT!" Shang Tsung announced. Scorpion fired his Harpoon Impaler at Jacob and violently dragged him over. "GET OVER HERE!" Scorpion screamed. Jacob started screaming and crying like a little baby as he held his bloody wound on his chest. "Ouch! That hurt, man! Are you trying to kill me?" Jacob whined. "What? I barely even touched you, you big pussy! That's my standard attack!" Scorpion cried. "But it hurt!" Jacob whined even louder. "STOP WHINING!" Scorpion screamed. Jacob started crying like a little baby as he got on the ground in fetal position and sucked his thumb. Scorpion then proceeded to kick him as Jacob laid down on the ground. "Oh my God...these guys are so pathetic!" Liu Kang said out loud. "Which one?" Sonya asked teasingly. Subzero was really starting to lose his patience when Edward started acting like a big time emo when he froze him with an Iceball. "Ow...that's so cold, dude! It's cold; like my soul!" Edward moaned. "Shut up! Be a man and fight!" Subzero growled. "What's the point of even fighting, man? We're all just gonna die anyway!" Edward whined. "God damn it! Stop whining and fight me already!" Subzero growled. "But I don't wanna!" Edward moped. "WHY YOU LITTLE!" Subzero growled furiously as he grabbed Edward and began choking him comically.

The others just watched this with shaking heads and wowed looks; this was just embarassing. "This is so sad! I'm glad that I'm not the one fighting those losers!" Johnny muttered. "Is there even a point to this?" Liu Kang added. "I just hope that they aggravate them enough to the point where they kill these losers!" Raiden grumbled. Kano couldn't stop laughing as he watched this and Jax just kept shaking his head. "This is so stupid! They're not even fighting; they're just whining and crying like little two year olds!" Jax said outraged. "I don't know; I think it's kinda funny!" Kano chuckled. Shang Tsung looked so bored, that he actually fell asleep. Finally; Scorpion and Subzero lost their patience enough to kill both Edward and Jacob. "That's it! If you're not gonna fight, then I'll just put you out of your misery!" Scorpion roared as he took off his mask. His face was a flaming skull and he roared as he spewed a huge streak of flames at poor Jacob, toasting him to a crisp. "TOASTY!" a voice cried. Subzero killed Edward by ripping out his spine and throwing it down in a fit. "Oh, wow! That's so surprising man! Scorpion and Subzero wins!" Liu Kang said obviously sarcastic. "Hooray!" the others cheered obviously not interested. Scorpion and Subzero panted furiously to catch their breath and finally stormed off to their rooms. "That was so pathetic!" Scorpion grumbled as he put his mask back on. "Tell me about it! I just hope that little bitch doesn't start whining to us about killing them both!" Subzero agreed. Suddenly, but not surprisingly, Bella did appear and started giving them both a nag attack. "Why did you kill them? What am I supposed to do now? What do I do with my life now that I've got nobody left to chase after?" Bella nagged. "Oh for the love of God! Get a clue, bitch! Nobody wants to date you! Just go home and do whatever bratty teenagers do!" Scorpion moaned. "I hate you!" Bella pouted as she kicked Scorpion in the shin. "OW! Why you little!" Scorpion growled.

Scorpion sliced Bella in half with his Spear Slice Fatality, and stood there as he tried to catch his breath. "Ok, now that was pathetic!" Subzero said at last. "Oh, shut up already!" Scorpion grumbled. "Well...at least they're all dead now! What do you want to do now?" Subzero asked. "I don't know about you, but I'm going to bed!" Scorpion said. "I think I'll go see what's on TV!" Subzero said as he went to his room and turned on the TV. As soon as he turned it on, Twilight started playing. As soon as it was over, Subzero grabbed his TV and smashed it. "That was even worse than the match we fought earlier! God...I freaking hate Twilight! If I see another thing about Twilight one more time, I'm ripping closest spine out without question!" Subzero cried. Back at the Kombat Arena, Shang Tsung woke up. "What? Aww...I missed it! Damn it...oh well! I guess I'll have to go with Harry Potter next time!" Shang Tsung said out loud.

***Well there you have it! It's short and simple; Twilight sucks! If I offended you, I'm sorry! Hope you enjoyed it otherwise! Bye!* :)**


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